I want to share how much easier and better it is handling difficult situations whilst being AF. BTW AF is Alcohol Free.
I've been a bit quiet as shit was hitting the fan for me last week and I'm still getting into the routine of journaling... Looking back I still can't believe last week, but I'm fine, I'm truly doing OK, I'm calm and kinda grounded too. These are amazing new feelings and states of mind I have not experienced for a very long time.
[My alcohol history: happy daily drinker all my adult life, everyone around me drinks, never saw any issues with it, and was pretty good at holding my drink too. Happy drinking till drinking was the only happy thing in my life. So my alcohol free days were at 0% up to November last year. Then I tried to cut down, which was horrible. Alcohol was on my mind all the time and not drinking it was very hard. My alcohol free percentage probably reached 20% between December 2023 to March 2024. I started This Naked Mind 365 day PATH program on 1st February. Since mid April 2024 to mid June 2024 my AF % has increased to a whopping brilliant 98.3%]🙌
Last week my husband and I had the kids with us (50:50 custody with our exs), so we're in 'parent' mode for a week. There was a bit of trouble in paradise, as I would call it with my husband and I increasing are annoyances towards each other and as a result not being each other's favorite for a few days....[On Fridays when the kids go back to their other parents, we tend to hit the road (5hrs) from Sydney to Cooma where we are doing up our little bush block in the mountains.] This time husband is not coming with me to Cooma, and I decide that what's best for me is to go through with my plan and drive to Cooma with my dogs. It rained and rained buckets on Friday during most of my drive, but I get to my bush block all safe and sound by mid afternoon. My husband's phone is switched off when I tried to call him. I'm unloading the car, the dogs are running around all happy stretching their legs and the phone rings. It's my breast specialist. (Background, I've had annual check ups in the last 10 years due to having really dense breast tissue that freak out sonographers because there's lots going on in the images so they have me on close watch but everything has been totally fine to date confirmed by biopsies.) My breast specialist tells me that I have triple negative breast cancer and need to start chemo asap for 6 months, then surgery and possibly radiotherapy after that. And when I asked her whether I could still fly home to Europe for the first two weeks of July to visit my parents and brother who I haven't seen for 18 months, she said that was not an option and to cancel my flights. Alone with my two dogs in the Australian bush land, unable to reach my husband, after a tough shitty week and with this sudden blow to my health and immediate future was massive. Yet, I'm ok. And the reason that I'm ok is that I'm mainly AF, I can handle crappy situations again, I see clearly, I'm calm, I'm more present, I have learnt so much about mindfulness, grace and especially self-compassion. OMG, self-compassion is HUGE!!! Not arguing with reality is also HUGE! I have a pretty good prognosis so there is no real need to worry about me. Yet it is a shitty situation which I believe I'm handling very well in my book because of everything I have learnt from the Coaches, the community and the PATH content. Previously, before the 365 day PATH, I would not have been able to handle a week like last week, I would have been a complete mess today. Because of everyone here, I'm good today. THANK YOU.🙏
I called my husband the next day, we chatted, told him the crappy health news, and my darling jumped into his car and drove down to be with me and comfort me. 💓
I'm doing ok. 😊💪🙏